Thursday, November 8, 2012

RIP My Sweet Girl.......

These are my baby girls, Squealer (left) and Pipsqueak (right).    My sweet pumpkin, Squealer (left) left me suddenly on 10/15/12. 

Squealer and Pipsqueak have been together for their entire lives.   I got them when they were only a few weeks old, I was told they are sisters.   Even if they are not from the same litter, they are truly sisters in every other way.   They are four years old and inseparable.

Both girls have had their share of medical issues, including blindness in one eye and cataracts.   My Squealer has always been the sicker of the two.   It has made me so sad and I worried about her all the time.   I did the best I could for her, always getting her the best medical care possible.

Squealer just had an $800 surgery in June, just three months ago, to remove a large stone from her bladder.   She never bounced back from that surgery.   Yes, she was better as far as her abdomen went, but she was never quite right.   I have always been very aware of what was going on with my girls, I am a very attentive momma.

In the morning on the day she died, I knew she was going to die.   I have seen it enough with my other little animals, hamsters and ferrets, to see the signs and to know it in my gut.   She didn't take her treat that morning, and she pushed me away when we did our little routine of giving each other eskimo kisses that morning.   I didn't want to believe it.   I had an appt that afternoon, so I went to the appt, hoping I was wrong.  I came home from my appt and 10 minutes later, my little girl left me.    I came home to find her lying in her cage in the corner, when I picked her up I saw that she was dragging one side of her body.   In a panic, I picked her up and wrapped her in some soft towels and held her close and kissed her repeatedly.   As I was trying to deny what was happening (I wasn't ready to lose her!) and debating if I needed to rush her to the vet, she started opening and closing her mouth and then started making clicking noises.   Panic is setting in on me, and before I knew it, she was just gone.   I was hysterical.

I called my very bestest friend and she stood on the phone with me while I sat with Squealer wrapped in a towel, and Pipsqueak beside her saying goodbye.   I was hysterical, and I am grateful for her friendship and love just letting me cry hysterically on the phone until I was ready to hang up.

I think my baby had a stroke.  I am thankful it was quick, and I am thankful she waited for me to come home so I could love her one last time and tell her goodbye.  It never gets easy losing a pet, I think you relive all the other loses,  so the more loses you have, the more painful it becomes.  It feels as if a part of your heart dies along with them.

Hysterical, I drove Squealer's little body to the vet so she could be cremated.

Pipsqueak and I are so sad, and it will take us both some time to heal.   I need her as much as she needs me, and we are doing the best we can.

It has been over 3 weeks since my baby left and dammit, I miss her so much!   I have started bawling again while writing this.  I have picked up Squealer's ashes from the vet and I have them sitting here next to me.

RIP sweet girl......momma love you always!!!!!!!