On 3/8/13 I had to say goodbye to my baby girl, Pippy. In the last few months since the loss of her sister, we have bonded so much and were best buds. Pippy has always loved me but didn’t really need me because she had her sister, but we have both been so lonely and lost without Squealer that it brought us closer.
I could have kept her with me longer, but that would have been selfish. She had labored breathing, didn’t eat very well anymore, and when I took her to the vet they suspected she had a huge (probably cancerous) growth in her stomach. I didn’t want to put her through a lot of tests that were going to tell me it was a cancerous tumor because I had already decided that due to her age I would not put her through anymore surgeries. I could have kept her comfortable on medications and bought myself more time, but she was missing her sister so much and to keep her alive would have been just for me and it had to be all about her.
It was awful. I was there all alone. I held her, told her I loved her, told her that she was a pretty girl and such a good girl. I told her that her sister missed her and that she would be seeing her really soon. I told her not to be scared, her sister would be there waiting for her at The Rainbow Bridge, and I assured her that although I am extremely hysterical right now that I would be okay. I told her I would miss her and love her FOREVER, but I needed to let her go be with her sister. I then hugged her tight and kissed her sweet little face and I let the tech take her away.
I couldn’t go with her and be with her when she took her last breath because guinea pigs are so small and it can be complicated they had to take her in the back room to euthanize her. So I sat there knowing that she was leaving me and that the next time I saw her ----- she would be gone.
They brought her back to me all wrapped up in a towel. She was my beautiful sweet girl with lifeless eyes. She was still warm. I held her for what seemed like forever and honestly I did not want to let her go. I knew the next time I would see her she would just be ashes………it killed me.
I know I did the right thing, but it was so hard. I find comfort in thinking of Pipsqueak and Squealer up at The Rainbow Bridge, chasing each other, flinging hay and chatting up a storm (they had a lot to catch up on).
Then I had to drive myself home, and that night it was pouring rain out to add to my misery. I honestly don’t know how I made it home. I was hysterical and every time I pulled myself together the crying would start all over again. I am crying now while I am writing this and this happened 5 months ago.
Pipsqueak was my last baby. I do not have any little furry critters to come home to, to take care of, to love. I miss talking to her. I talked to her all the time. I have a huge hole in my heart and I feel so lost and empty without her. I cannot get another pet right now, but when my circumstances change, I will have another furry friend to love. I will never forget any of my babies and there is no replacing any of them ever, but there are so many other babies out there who needs me…….who need love…….and as soon as I can, I plan on rescuing one……