HEALING EACH OTHER……

Had a “BAD” week and my weekend was even worse….was feeling very depressed and hopeless.  I felt so alone.

Went to The Gentle Barn on Sunday, where I have started to volunteer.  This is my 3^rd Sunday as a volunteer.  The first time I was there I was keeper of the door to the cow area.  The second time, I was in charge of one section of the horses.  Both times it was interaction with people and with the animals.   This week, my third week, it was strictly me and the animals (yay!)

When I first got there I told Ellie the founder, that I was sorry about the loss of Devine.  She was  a very beloved goat who was healing in her heart, but her poor health took over, and despite all The Gentle Barn’s efforts, she died on Thursday morning.   I gave Ellie a hug and we both cried.   Ellie chatted with the group and was telling us all about the 6 goats they just rescued this week from a backyard butcher  and then she gave assignments.   She told me she wanted to know if I was okay with sitting with the 6 new goats in quarantine.  I didn’t even hesitate and said, “I would love to. I would be honored to do that.”

So it’s up to quarantine I went.  I could have a book, water, and food , but I couldn’t leave the area the entire time I was there (5 hours) to even pee because I was in Quarantine, and when I left at the end of the day I had to leave, I couldn’t mingle with the other animals.   For a few seconds, complete panic set in.  It hit me that these sweet babies were in isolation and I could catch something from them or bring it home.  After sitting with those beautiful souls for a few minutes, my panic went away.   This is what I want to do, I want to work with animals.   I want to get my hands dirty……this was getting my hands dirty.  This was seeing what I was made of. 

All the goats were severely neglected, some more traumatized than others.  Only one girl had human interaction and kindness, so she is the most friendly of the bunch.  She was all over me.  The other  5 were different degrees of scared.  I was told that 2 of them are severely submissive if a human gets close to them, thinking that they are next to die and just make it quick.  These sweet babies all witnessed goats being slaughtered right in front of their eyes.   I cannot imagine how horrible that must be.  It is unimaginable!  Absolutely horrible!  They have a lot of healing, both physically and mentally to do.

Although it might seem boring just sitting there it is a very important part of their healing.  It was okay for me to pet them or touch them if they came to me, but they had to come to me.   Only the one girl was willing to do this.  I could talk to them, sing to them, read to them, anything else of that nature as long as I didn’t touch them or try to chase them.  This is important because they need to learn that humans can be present and are not going to harm them and are not going to want anything from them, that it is okay to approach them and get some love.   5 of the goats have had no human contact or interaction.

None of the goats have names yet.   So the friendly girl was all over me, giving me kisses, letting me pet her, trying to eat my book, and just letting me talk to her.   The other goats did not get close, but they looked me right in the eye and I talked to them each individually without approaching them or touching them.  They felt comfortable enough around me to get up and eat and move around.  

I had a great time just watching them.  Their personalities are starting to come out.  I talked with Ellie afterwards and she asked me how it went.  She told me that she heard I did a great job and wanted to know if I wanted to do this task for the next few Sundays as this is a crucial time for healing for the goats.  She even asked me if I could come other days since I was so good with them, I am going to try to come on some Saturdays too.  She told me that I had an energy about me….it was such a lovely thing to say.  As I was talking to her about the goats, she asked me, “Where did you come from?  You are amazing with the animals, you are just good with them.” 

I have to say this is the first day in awhile that I felt like I mattered.  For a few hours today I forgot about all my problems and was actually happy.   That is huge for me, I am not a happy person.

So not only am I helping heal the goats, but they are playing a part in healing me.

It was a good afternoon.